


Jilted John - Jilted John

by empty inkwell (notoneforreality)



Series: 20 Songs Collection [9]
Category: Sherlock (TV)
Genre: F/M, Gordon is a moron, John gets dumped, Julie is a bitch, M/M, Sherlock commiserates with him, Swearing, blast from the past
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-05
Updated: 2015-05-05
Packaged: 2018-03-29 04:40:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 432
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3882676
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/notoneforreality/pseuds/empty%20inkwell
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Based on the song Jilted John by Jilted John. John gets dumped and Sherlock commiserates with him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Jilted John - Jilted John

**Author's Note:**

> Done in a slightly different styles to the others because of the song's lack of structure. It's an amusing song from the '90s and I would recommend you listening to it because it makes me smile every time :) Anyway, here you go.

I've been going out with a girl  
Her name is Julie  
But last night she said to me  
When we were watching telly  
She said "Listen John I love you  
But there's this bloke I fancy  
I don't want to two time you so it's the end for you and me."  
-  
John slumped into his armchair and groaned. He tried to be a good boyfriend, he really did, and the one time he thought he'd got it right, Gordon stepped into the picture. He'd thought he'd seen the last of Gordon in secondary, but as a grown-up and adult man who had had plenty of time to get over anything that occurred within the walls of the school, he hadn't been that concerned when they'd met in a bar in London; he'd merely been pleasantly surprised. John had seen no reason not to introduce him to his girlfriend, now that they were responsible adults. When Julie had paused the television to turn around and tell him she preferred Gordon, John had no response. He'd left in a daze, heading home before realising that Sherlock probably wouldn't have any food in the flat and taking a detour into a nearby fish and chip shop. It did not raise his spirits to see Gordon and Julie laughing at him from the bus stop when he came out. He should have seen it coming, but he didn't - just like every time in secondary school.  
-  
But I know he's a moron, Gordon is a moron  
Gordon is a moron, Gordon is a moron  
-  
Sherlock sat in his armchair, watching John. John had told him about the man - Gordon - who had apparently spent his life stealing people John cared for. Sherlock observed John, and occasionally plucked a chip from the bag held limply in the blogger's hands.

"Gordon's a moron," John muttered. Sherlock agreed, and told John as much, which made the other man's lips twitch into a half smile. Sherlock smiled, an idea forming in his head he sat with John and together they listed insults until John fell asleep with a smile on his face.

Sherlock carried John to his bedroom, then tiptoed back to his own, thinking Julie was indeed a bitch, and makin a mental note to wake John up with a cup of tea the next morning to make him feel better  
-  
Oh she's a slag and he's a creep  
She's a tart, he's very cheap  
She is a slut, he thinks he's tough  
She is a bitch, he is a puff  
Yeah yeah, it's not fair  
Yeah yeah, it's not fair


End file.
